Navigating Developmental Leaps

Sometimes, our children suddenly start to consistently meltdown because they "don't like their socks," or they suddenly have a sleep or toilet regression, and we find ourselves pulling our hair trying to figure it out. Don't worry, you're not alone! And more importantly, there is a reason for it. They may be going through a developmental leap!

What is a Developmental Leap?

A developmental leap is a period of rapid brain and body growth where your child's abilities, perceptions, and understanding of the world shift dramatically. These leaps often come with a healthy dose of big feelings and bewildering behavior. 

In short: your child's brain is upgrading, and their behavior temporarily downgrades as a result. 

If you're ever wondering about if your child is currently going through a leap, reach out to your teaching team. If you're feeling it at home, we're sure feeling it here too! Partnering together to strategize is the best way to give your child consistency and to be on the same page. 

When do they happen?

While each child is unique, there are common windows where leaps tend to show up: 

Each leap tends to last about 2-6 weeks, depending on the child. The intensity changes as well. Sometimes, you feel it coming, and when you do, it may be followed by the following signs: 

- More meltdowns or tantrums

- Sudden regressions (toileting, sleep, eating)

- Clinginess, defiance, fearfulness

- Frustration with tasks previously mastered

- Big emotions that may feel out of proportion 

And then, out of nowhere, you'll notice all the big changes! The big words, the rationale, the increase in independence! 

Differences in Leaps!

It's important to note that:

- The ranges in the table above are approximate and represent windows of peak neurodevelopmental change, not rigid timelines. 

- The behavioral implications are not signs of misbehavior, but indicators of neurological reorganization and emotional disequilibrium, a normal phase of cognitive development. 

- Individual differences, temperament, neurodivergence, and environmental context may alter the intensity and presentation of each leap. 

The human brain develops through dynamic, interconnected processes—like synaptogenesis (neural growth), pruning, and integration—that tend to follow a general sequence across populations. Core shifts in areas such as language, emotional processing, and executive function typically emerge in early childhood, though the way and when they unfold can vary from child to child.

    •    The expression and experience of these developmental changes can be shaped by cultural context. Caregiving approaches, community values, and emotional norms all influence how a child navigates these transitions—and how they are supported in doing so.

    •    Timing and pathways are not one-size-fits-all. Differences in environment, sensory profiles, neurotype, and relational dynamics may shift the pace or pattern of development. These variations are not deviations from a norm, but natural expressions of the rich diversity of human neurodevelopment.

What's Going on Inside Their Brains?

Physically, their brains are experiencing a surge in synaptic activity. They're creating and strengthening neural pathways that support new skills. 

Think of their brain like a construction site. During a leap: 

- New neural pathways are forming. These help with language, memory, reasoning, and movement. 

- Old ones are being pruned. Like a spring cleaning of connections they no longer need. 

- Sensory systems are rebalancing. They may be more sensitive to sounds, touch, movement, etc.

- Emotion regulation is under renovation. The prefrontal cortex (which manages logic and impulse control) is still developing, while the amygdala (which processes emotion and fear) is working overtime. 

No wonder everything feels upside down! 

Common Regressions During Leaps

You might see things such as: 

- Toileting regressions: Suddenly refusing the toilet, having accidents, bet wetting, etc. 

- Sleep disruptions: Night waking, nightmares, fighting bedtime/naptime, waking up early, etc. 

- Feeding changes: picky eating, reverting to "toddler-safe" foods, cravings 

- Behavioral backslides: physical behaviors (hitting, kicking, biting), clinginess, "baby talk", resistance to adult instructions

These are all forms of self-preservation and communication. Their internal world is shifting, and they need safety and predictability on the outside. As Dr. Ross Greene reminds us-- children aren't giving us a hard time-- they are having a hard time. 

While regressions are common during leaps, they are usually not a sign that anything’s wrong. They’re a sign that your child is consolidating skills. Regressions in sleep, behavior, or toileting typically resolve once the leap levels out. 

Think of it like a software update: things might glitch before they run smoother.

If regressions are extreme or last longer than a few weeks, there might be something else at play. Check in with your pediatrician and your wBees team. Trust your gut. You're the expert on your child!

How to Navigate These Leaps

Now let’s talk about surviving—and even thriving—through these stormy patches.

1. Keep Routines Predictable

Structure helps your child feel secure when everything inside them feels wobbly. Stick to your usual rhythm as much as possible—meals, naps, bedtime routines—even if the process feels messier.

2. Offer Extra Connection

Leaps often make kids clingier because they’re unsure of their new world. Snuggle more. Use connection-based play. Narrate their feelings. “You’re having such a big feeling. I’m right here.”

3. Limit Demands When Possible

This is not the week to try potty training and start swim lessons. If your child is clearly overwhelmed, consider lightening the load. Focus on emotional safety.

4. Normalize Their Experience

Let them know what’s happening:

“You’re learning so many new things right now. It can feel like a lot. That’s okay. I’ll help you.”

5. Use Visual Supports

During leaps, kids can lose track of what comes next. Try visual schedules, feelings charts, or choice boards to give them a sense of control. 

6. Take Care of You

This is crucial. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Tag in a partner, grandparent, or sitter. Step outside. Breathe. Vent to a friend. Regulate yourself so you can co-regulate them. Remember, you have a whole community here at wBees that is going through this with you!

Scripts to Navigate Leaps

When your child is melting down over something small:

    “You’re having such big feelings right now. I’m here. You’re safe.”

When they regress:

    “Your brain is working hard to grow. It’s okay if you need extra help right now. I’ve got you.”

When you need to set a limit:

“It’s okay to be upset. I won’t let you hit. I’m going to move to help keep my body safe.”

When they feel overly frustrated:

"You're learning something new! Learning can feel tricky and frustrating. It's ok! It's my job to help you learn. Let's break this down together." 

For transitions:

    “First we’ll brush teeth, then we’ll read a story. Let’s check your schedule together.”

To empower them during a leap:

    “Your brain is learning so much right now—it might feel wobbly, but you’re doing it!”

Co-Regulation Strategies for Hard Leap Days

Co-regulation is the process by which an adult helps a child manage and recover from overwhelming emotions by providing calm, attuned, and supportive responses. In early childhood, the brain structures responsible for self-regulation—particularly the prefrontal cortex—are still under construction. This means toddlers and preschoolers rely heavily on caregivers’ nervous systems to borrow regulation during moments of distress.

From a neuroscience perspective, co-regulation activates the child’s parasympathetic nervous system (the calming branch), helps modulate the stress hormone cortisol, and strengthens neural pathways responsible for emotional control. Over time, repeated co-regulation literally wires the brain for self-regulation and resilience. 

In short: when we stay calm and connected during our child’s chaos, we are not just stopping a meltdown—we are building their brain.

1.    Get low and soft. Sit or kneel at their level. Speak slowly and calmly.

2.    Breathe together. Hold their hands and say, “Let’s blow out a candle together.” 

3.    Use rhythm and movement. Rock, sway, bounce, or sing during transitions or tantrums.

4.    Name what you see. “You’re crying and your fists are tight. That tells me you’re mad.”

 5.    Create sensory calm-down kits. Include putty, fidgets, stuffies, a picture of you together, or other calming materials.

6.    Offer choices when appropriate. “Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue one?” Choice brings a sense of control.

Developmental leaps are intense, messy, and beautifully transformative. It might feel like your child is falling apart—but they’re actually building something new. A more complex understanding of the world. A sense of self. A stronger connection with you.

Hang in there. The storm will pass, and your child will emerge from it with new skills, new awareness, and—eventually—a full night of sleep!

You’re not just surviving the leap. You’re growing through it, too.

Looking for more strategies to maintain limits? Maybe you're struggling with providing choices to your little one? Are you finding yourself giving in when the nagging never stops? 

Check out the wBees Positive Discipline Workshop! We've recorded a 45-minute workshop session that you can watch at your leisure with tried-and-true tips to go on your positive discipline journey with your family.